Chris Mackie: LibDems 1 Labour 1 in Rangers roundup

Proof, if proof were needed, that the pervasive influence of the Old Firm extends into every nook and cranny of Scottish life reached us this morning as politicians began to wade into the ongoing travails of Glasgow Rangers FC.

The LibDems were first, calling on Scottish Secretary (and Celtic fan) Jim Murphy to intervene in the situation that has seen a representative of HBoS placed on the board of the Ibrox club to monitor spending.

Tavish Scott (bizarrely, a Liverpool supporter) said all football fans - even those of a green and white hooped hue - would be concerned by reports that the club had been threatened with administration by a bank substantially helped by the use of taxpayers' money.

“If the Lloyds group can take down Rangers, there won’t be many professional clubs left in Scotland," exclaimed Tavish excitedly.

Improbably, he was joined by Labour's Frank McAveety, who crossed the Glasgow divide to offer his support to the Teddy Bears, noting gravely: "Anyone who cares about Scottish football should be concerned about the financial difficulties experienced by one of our biggest clubs."

Despite The Steamie's enquiries, the Scottish Conservative and Unionist party have, perhaps surprisingly, declined to become embroiled in the row. And we didn't even phone the Greens.

David Maddox: At the risk of sounding like a cybernat...

This item Labour have just put out is possibly the most outrageous press release I can remember in my time in Holyrood, which is saying quite a lot.
I will spare you most of the gory details, but entitled: "SALMOND THREATENS TO CANCEL MORE GLASGOW PROJECTS" it claims that the First Minister during FMQs threatened to "cancel the new Southern General Hospital and the National Indoor Sports Arena if he does not get his way on the cancellation of the Glasgow Airport Rail Link."
It then quotes Glasgow Shettleston MSP Frank McAveety: “The First Minister’s threat to take away funding for the National Indoor Sports Arena is just more bluster. He knows fine well that he signed a commitment to deliver this facility, which is vital to the success of the Commonwealth Games."
I had to check with some fellow hacks, that I had not dreamed what really happened in FMQs. They confirmed to me that none of the above press release is true. Mr Salmond used those projects as examples of how Glasgow is still getting a lot of infrastructure investment and at no point was there a threat to cancel them. I write this as a journalist who has not exactly been shy of criticising the First Minister.
This release probably has something to do with upcoming Glasgow North East by-election and, as a colleague pointed out to me, there are a lot of weekly papers who do not have staff here who may pick it up and report it as fact.
Not exactly the most honourable moment for Labour in Holyrood, even if ultimately it is effective.

David Maddox: And the prize for the fastest Andy Murray press release....

....goes to the Tories who managed to get their words of commiseration out less than five minutes after Murray's 3:1 defeat to Andy Roddick.

Murray's "an inspiration" Scottish Conservative leader Annabel Goldie said.

Labour's arrived a whole seven minutes later.

"Murray's done us proud," said Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray, who' s known some defeats in his time.

The Scottish Government one took another 21 minutes.

"Andy has made Scotland proud," said First Minister Alex Salmond

Still waiting for the SNP party and Lib Dem ones, but more to follow no doubt.

However, the prize for the silliest political argument of the day and probably the year is over the alleged claims by Mr Salmond that he could have won Wimbledon if he had trained a bit harder.

"This is the time that you get out there and say, 'if only'. If I'd worked as hard as Andy Murray then who knows, but I may take the odd swing and certainly if Andy wins there'll be a few balls going in the air," he told a well known state funded broadcaster ahead of the semi-final.

This may come as a surprise to those who think his current athletic physique is more suited to a specialist form of wrestling in Japan.

But, true to form, Labour put out a press release attacking the First Minister in the name of former sports minister Frank McAveety.

"Alex Salmond's ego knows no bounds," said Mr McAveety, who apparently had to pick himself up off the floor for laughing. "If he is not going round America comparing himself to Thomas Jefferson he is claiming that, with more practice, he could have been Wimbledon champion. The First Minister is fast becoming the Walter Mitty of Scottish politics."

The SNP think the joke is on Labour for failing to understand that the First Minister's quotes were a light hearted joke.

A spokesman for the First Minister suggested that Frank McAveety "should get a life."