Gerri Peev: Paws for the passing of Sybil

Spare a thought for the former Chief Mouser of Downing Street. Chancellor Alistair Darling's cat Sybil died in London yesterday after a short illness.

The moggie briefly lived at Number 11, following on from the Number 1o cat Humphrey, who was evicted by Cherie Blair.

She spent many days commuting between Edinburgh and London, but the journey finally took its toll on ageing Sybil and she stayed with friends of the Darlings in her final days.

Sybil never quite settled in Downing Street. Perhaps it was the neighbours...

Gerri Peev: Darling's dark comedy

WHO said Alistair Darling did not have a gift for comedy? Forget his forecasts, I am talking about his response to a Times article about what cheers politicians up.
The Chancellor replied: "Yes Minister never fails to make me laugh. Although it's less comedy, more documentary. Oh, and black humour, it's kept us going over the last two years at the Treasury."
Here's another joke for his routine: Did you hear the one about the economy returning to growth by the end of this year?

Eddie Barnes: That nice man, Mr Balls

Education Secretary Ed Balls gives an interview today in which he accuses his fellow Labour MP James Purnell of having a mid-life crisis. This is in response to the fact that Purnell is setting up a think-tank on the future of the Labour party, after quitting the cabinet last month.

Says Balls: "There are times when individuals in their early 40s have crises. They buy motorbikes or go off and travel round the world and have a gap year. Sometimes people do that. I don’t think for political parties to have those kinds of moments is very sensible, especially when you are at your moment of greatest clarity and vision.”

Adds Balls, now is not the time “to be going off to think tanks to find out what your identity really is”.

Those interviewing Balls have little doubt what he is up to: he wants to chop Purnell's legs off now, so that he is seen as the top man post-election defeat.

There was me thinking that the public jockeying for the leadership began after you had actually lost an election and when your leader quit......how naive of me.

Tom Peterkin on more cricket

The Scottish National Party would appear to be attempting to win over Scotland's cricketing community after Sandra White's silly complaint about alleged excessive coverage of the Ashes series.
Tomorrow Shona Robison will go to Arbroath United Cricket Club's picturesque ground Lochlands Park to lend her support to the Scotland team playing in the European under 15 cricket championships.
Robison is quoted as saying: "Cricket has a long and proud history in Scotland and is one of our fastest growing sports."
She has also reminded cricketers that the Scottish Government has recently come up with £415,000 for the game.
A somewhat different view than that expressed by White when she suggested that cricket was a minority sport in Scotland.
Howzat for a clip round the ear, Sandra?
It's perhaps not surprising that Robison knows about Scotland's cricketing tradition. Her husband the SNP MP Stewart Hosie has occasionally turned out for Panmure rugby club, a fine sporting institution that shares its ground and bar facilties with Forfarshire Cricket Club in Broughty Ferry.

Eddie Barnes: Malloch-Brown on Mr Brown

Most of the focus on former Foreign Office Minister Lord Malloch-Brown's interview in the Telegraph today has rightly focussed on his claim that "we definitely don't have enough helicopters" in Afghanistan (which he is now rowing back on, incidentally).



But the interview contains several other gems from a man who, in the parlance, has hinterland. Malloch-Brown earned his straps as one of the "alpha dogs" in the legendary Sawyer Miller political consultancy in New York - the firm which effectively wrote the rule book in the 1980s and 9os on How to Win Elections. It's fair to say he knows a thing or two about politics.



In the interview, he provides a fascinating insight into the strengths and weaknesses of Gordon Brown. Asked by Mary Riddell whether Gordon Brown has grasped the notion of losing next year, he declares......



"No I don't. That's one reason why, for all the criticism, he is a remarkable leader. He has this Churchillian faith in his belief that he can persuade the British public he's the one."



And whilst admitting that Labour's chances look "incredibly bleak", he nevertheless backs Brown as the man to lead them onwards.



"He'll be the candidate. He's got something no other politician in the Labour party has. He thinks he can win."



Riddell comments: "It is possible to detech in Lord Malloch-Brown's voice more than a hint of disbelief".



Brown won't be giving up, in other words, even when everyone else has thrown in the towel. It might make him delusional. It also means he's a stayer.

Eddie Barnes - ok, by-election for November

Labour MPs have voted down the SNP motion, so there'll be no moving of writs today - and therefore no by-election in the summer hols (unless parliament is recalled - see below).

A good days work for the SNP all round. They can now tell the good people of Glasgow North-East that the Labour party cynically voted against an immediate by-election, that they are scared of the voters, and that they've deprived them of an MP for four months (how will they people ever cope?) They can say they stood up for democracy.

And they get to do all this while ending up with the outcome that I'm told they wanted in the first place - ie, a delayed by-election. The party candidate David Kerr now has a precious few months to get to know the constituency backwards.

This could be an interesting contest.

Eddie Barnes - By-election for November?

Update.....The SNP has just moved a motion to mandate the Speaker to set a date for the by-election. The Labour chief whip has objected and there will be a vote at 3:30pm. The SNP MP Stewart Hosie is taking great pleasure in accusing Labour MPs of denying puters in Glasgow North East an immediate vote.

More later.....

Eddie Barnes - By-election for November

Unless Labour changes its mind in the next few hours, the Glasgow North East by-election won't be taking place until November. The rules of the House of Commons bar a party from calling a by-election during recess, meaning that - once the House rises for the summer this evening - it won't be until October until the writ can be moved. The by-election must then be held within 21 days.

Labour says it is delaying because it doesn't want to hold a by-election in early August when many people in Glasgow are still on holiday. Seeing as it is only a year ago that Labour held a by-election in Glasgow in midsummer (July 24th to be exact; they lost Glasgow East) this explanation is being taken with a pinch of salt. Conspiracist SNP strategists are muttering darkly that the real reason for Labour's delay is because it wants the by-election in early November so that it clashes with the Nationalists' annual conference, in Inverness, which is being held just beforehand.

Whatever the truth, the SNP isn't complaining. After all, if the delay really was so bad, they could move the writ themselves. In fact, the delay helps them. Following the tortuous selection process which saw two candidates drop out, before former BBC journalist David Kerr was given the post last week, the SNP will welcome the time he now has to get round the constituency.

Despite Kerr's various difficulties thus far (see previous posts), there is little doubt that he is the candidate that many Labour high-ups didn't want. Which - to my mind - makes it all the more puzzling as to why Labour has now given him time to set up an operation. Hesitation is fatal after all....

Labour does have one other option. If parliament is recalled this summer because of the Swine flu crisis, the writ could be moved then, meaning a by-election in late August or early September. Party sources say this would is their most favoured option.

Not that they actually want the flu pandemic to get worse, I should add.

David Maddox: Note to budding politicians - beware your past indiscretions

David Kerr (pictured right), the SNP candidate for Glasgow North-east, has not had the easiest transition from journalist (of the BBC variety) to politician.

Fourth choice candidate after originally being rejected, attacked for his membership of Opus Dei, and then there were his comments about Glasgow Caledonian University (no reputation to tarnish, he says) and sectarianism (not a problem in Scotland, apparently).

It is all a classic case of past words and actions coming back to haunt somebody when they put their head above the political parapet. In other words if you want to be a political candidate try to avoid doing or saying anything of interest that can dragged up.

The Steamie has been given a copy of the talk he gave to the Catholic Society at his alma mater St Andrews University two years ago. (I've just realised that as we are the same age we were probably there at the same time in the mid-1990s, along with James MacKenzie, the Green's spin doctor and author of the Two Doctors blog.)

The question over his comments on Glasgow Callie was whether it represents an elitist view of higher education or is just a light-hearted stand-up routine for a bunch of students. Likewise, whether his impressions in the same clip of the Protestant reformer John Knox is humour or something nastier.

Click on the link below and make up your own mind:

David%20Kerr

David Maddox: Open Union

After the fuss about Andy Murray wrapping himself in the Union Flag at Wimbledon, it was interesting to see English golfer Ian Poulter go a step further as the Open started at Turnberry today.

His Union Flag top and specially commissioned red, white and blue "Poulter tartan" troosers certainly made a statement in the Borders.

No doubt the local Conservative and Unionist MSP - Presiding Officer Alex Fergusson - would have thoroughly approved of the sentiment, while First Minister Alex Salmond who visited the course the day before would not have found it to his Scottish Nationalist tastes.

But it was interesting that when a Scot wraps himself in the Union Flag in England it sparks far more debate and discussion than when an Englishman does the same in Scotland.

Murray's statement provoked political debate and questions over whether he had been got at by the marketing men to help turn Henman Hill into Murray Mound.

Poulter's just led to the usual raised eyebrows about the now expected flamboyant dress sense of a man inspired by his mother, a former shop manager at Dorothy Perkins.

David Maddox: Liz Smith goes out to bat

There are plenty of politicians who fancy themselves as sportsmen. Just recently we learnt that First Minister Alex Salmond reckoned he might have been a Wimbledon champion had he kept up his tennis.

Any follower of the MSP football team will realise that there are plenty there who think they could have been SPL stars in their day. Of course, Fife MSP John Park has gone down in legend as a political version of Chopper Harris for his now infamous tackle on Chick Young last year - he's still dining out on that one.

But there are few politicians who really cut the mustard as sportsmen and women.

In Westminster the double middle distance gold medalist Lord Sebastian Coe was probably the most world class sportsman to become an MP, although his former colleague Lord Colin Moynihan was also a gold medal winning Olympic athlete as a cox in the rowing team.

Holyrood has had far less genuine sportsmen and women. Former First Minister Henry McLeish played football for East Fife, but the one international sports personality is Tory MSP Liz Smith.

Ms Smith won seven caps for Scotland as a cricketer and the picture supplied shows her practising up with the bat before a game.

It is not known how good she was as figures for her batting and bowling are not available. But she did memorably manage to clean bowl a fellow political hack, John Robertson of the Sunday Times. He went for a duck in a hacks versus MSPs match a couple of summers ago on the second bounce of a slow delivery from Ms Smith, something he is yet to live down.

Ms Smith, though, is living proof that cricket is played and supported in Scotland by Scots. And she has written a fascinating rebuttle in today's Scotsman against the views behind the demands to get the sport off TV made by some of the Nationalist MSPs, most recently in a motion by Glasgow list SNP MSP Sandra White.

David Maddox: For Foulkes Sake (13) - Weighty issues

As mentioned in my most recent blog on Lord George Foulkes (bottom right), the Baron of Cumnock, MSP to the Lothians and First Lord of the Twittery is not lacking a sense of humour.

Thus this latest piece of mischief making in the guise of a written question.

*To ask the Scottish Executive what official engagements the First Minister has planned for July and August 2009 and whether an estimate has been made of catering costs.

The "catering" reference, of course, is to the frequent jokes about how being First Minister has apparently led to Alex Salmond's (top left) girth rapidly expanding, as well as his now famed food claims in his expenses as an MP of £400 a month, even when he was not in Westminster for months. The response from John Swinney was a lot more serious and dull.

*First Minister’s summer activities will focus on the Scottish Government Summer Cabinet meetings, taking place across the country.

Further to these events, the First Minister will undertake a range of other engagements in line with usual business. All events are planned with cost effectiveness as a priority.

However, ever one for political gamesmanship, no doubt Lord Foulkes is only too aware that his own critics, not least by the army of cybernats who stalk Scottish media websites, point out that he is not exactly lacking in pounds himself, either from his House of Lords expenses or, indeed, the shirt stretching sense.

Chris Mackie: Down wiff da kidz

Just in case you weren't aware, the Scottish Secretary sure is down wiff da kidz. In the tale of his day out at T in The Park over his blog "Jumpin'" Jim Murphy is careful to namecheck as many current musical artistes as he can - even if he didn't actually see them at the festival.
Because, yeah, I'm actually really into We Were Promised Jetpacks, yeah? You wouldn't have heard of them, because they are well new and that, innit?!
But aside from establishing his cutting edge credentials, this is my favourite section: "then off to Slam Tent, which was very dark and absolutely packed. How do they get so many people into the one (albeit enormous) tent? The Streets were pretty entertaining."
The thought of someone as establishment as the current Scottish Secretary hanging out with some of the revellers who can be found in the dark recesses of the Slam Tent is enough to bring a smile to anybody's lips. Consider the fact that there are some festival-goers who, whatever the weather, fail to leave that particular arena for the entire weekend, despite what is on offer elsewhere at Balado.
Perhaps his visit was educational - an attempt to really judge the scale of Scotland's drug problem. Or perhaps he was campaigning - trying to get Labour's message out while potential voters were in particularly high spirits.
Either way the image of Mr Murphy, a member of Her Majesty's Cabinet, grooving along to The Streets (sample lyric "Big beefy bouncers out to reveal us, geezers on Es and first timers, kids on whizz, darlin's on charlie, all come together for this party") is one to cherish.
He might well have needed to collapse in a chair afterwards (pictured right).

Tom Peterkin on cricket

Like David Maddox, I was irritated to learn of Sandra White's pathetically parochial moan about the amount of coverage devoted to this year's Ashes Series.
Like many Scots, I look forward to this great sporting contest and even - shock, horror - hope that England do well. To suggest that cricket is of little interest to Scots shows at best a misunderstanding of a great Scottish sporting tradition. At worst, it suggests a knee-jerk antipathy to all things English.
Growing up in Forfar, one of the greatly loved personalities in the town was the late Nigel Hazel, a famous Bermudan professional who seemed to play forever and hit many mighty sixes for Strathmore. Elsewhere in Angus, Kirriemuir's most famous son J.M. Barrie also loved cricket and gifted the village cricket pavillion complete with a camera obscura.
Barrie took his own team the Allahackbarries to Kirrie to play a match to open said pavillion. Included in the side was the famous Australian test player Arthur Mailey. Another talented cricketer to play for the Allahackbarries, was the Scottish creator of Sherlock Holmes Conan Doyle, who was a First Class player. Scouring the internet the other day, I discovered that my great uncle W.C.G. Peterkin scored 47 for the Grange against the MCC at Raeburn Place a few years before he was incarcerated in a POW camp during the Second World War.
As someone from the West, White ought to realise that there is a flourishing cricket scene in her neck of the woods. After all, that great West Indian batsman Gordon Greenidge was once professional for Greenock while Mike Denness, the Scot who captained England, was born in Bellshill, North Lanarkshire.
In the coming days, I doubt very much that we will hear English complaints about the amount of coverage that will be devoted to this week's Open Championship. Scotland gave golf to the world and England gave cricket. Both games are enjoyed by people in both countries - something that we should perhaps recognise in a modern tolerant Scotland.

David Maddox: Afghanistan - the Peter Principle

Dr Laurence J. Peter (pictured right), the Canadian born hierarcheologist, is probably best known for the Peter Principle that "everybody rises to the level of their incompetence."

He argued that at some point every position was held by somebody incompetent to do the job and the real work was done by those who had not yet reached their own level of incompetence.

It sounds like former RBS chief Sir Fred Goodwin's professional epitaph.

And any observer of politicians would know that this is especially true in the world of politics where the threshold for the level of incompetence is all too often very low.

Which brings us on neatly to the continuing conflict in Afghanistan and the historical vortex of incompetence that the world's various powers have found themselves in for more than 150 years.

A less well known but even more pessimistic quotation from Dr Peter is on history.

"History teaches us the mistakes we are going to make," he said.

It seems a very apt quote on the day that Gordon Brown orders more troops into Afghanistan following President Obama's plea for more support in a conflict that eventually, if we look at historical precedent, seems doomed to failure.

The late George MacDonald Fraser's novel Flashman perhaps offers most readable object lesson in history for Afghanistan. it charts the demise of the British army's first catastrophic foray into Afghanistan under the command of the incompetent Scottish Major General Lord Elphinstone(an historical example of the Peter principle) ending up with his force's massacre in January 1842.

MacDonald Fraser's building of history around the hilarious antics of the cowardly, womanising bully Flashman (of Tom Brown's Schooldays infamy) adds pathos to an unfolding tragedy known as the First Afghan War.

Since 1842 the British have been back, the Russians had a go, the Americans have been in along with the British (again) and others. Even with more technical weaponry, none have tamed that country or its warlords.

The cause of stopping terrorism, saving women from the Taliban's awful abuses and turning a failed state into a successful democracy are all worthy and just ones. And it is also true that British troops are currently out-killing Taliban ones - 15 to 200 in the last month.
But in the end every major army has failed in Afghanistan, the sooner this is recognised and the allies get out the less lives may be wasted.

David Maddox: Fielding at silly point

There are two things you can count on in the summer months - cricket and the newspapers' silly season.

And, as seems to happen most years when there is an Ashes series, the SNP have managed to combine the two.

This time Sandra White (pictured top left), a Glasgow list MSP, has put down a motion calling on cricket to be removed from terrestrial television north of the Border because there is little interest for it here. Strange she should make the complaint considering that it only appears on news bulletins as Sky holds the rights to the game.

But even a cursory look at the evidence shows that she is wrong about cricket not being widely followed in Scotland.

There are 160 clubs registered with Cricket Scotland (including the Grange in Edinburgh, pictured right). Around 28,000 Scots play the sport, not least the Scotsman's own team, and thousands more support it. Some argue it is more played and better supported even than rugby and you never hear the Nationalists wanting to ban that sport from the television.

Scotland has also had some success competing against first class county teams in one day competitions and on the international stage. They have gained full international status in the one day game and got to the semi-finals of the 2005 ICC Trophy.

There have also been some notable Scottish players. Two of the current Scottish team play for first class counties Navdeep Poonia for Warwickshire and Kyle Coetzer for Durham.

My favourite is arguably England's greatest captain Douglas Jardine (pictured left), inventor of the infamous Bodyline bowling attack to tackle Don Bradman in the 1932/33 Ashes series. His name still still brings up the bristles on the Antipodean back.

Then there was the famous win in 2007 of Freuchie in the National Village Cricket Championships at Lords.

The sport has a long history here in Scotland too with the oldest club Kelso dating back to 1820.

Ms White of course is following in the footsteps of her fellow list SNP MSP Christine Grahame, who complained about the Ashes being on TV too much in 2005. Notably, she is yet to win a constituency contest in the Borders where cricket is most popular in Scotland, despite trying in a marginal seat three times which was one of the SNP's top targets in 2007.

It could be argued that the Nationalist dislike for the summer game comes from its historical sentiment over its origins in Scotland. It was first played by English soldiers stationed in Scotland in 1785 after they had put down the Jacobite rebellion along with Scottish Hanoverian soldiers at Culloden.

But one has to ask, as some political parties already have, whether having a go at cricket is a convenient way of having a go at the English without actually saying so as it is clear they consider the game to be an English one. It is certainly an easy way of trying to stir up anger over English interests being put over Scottish ones in television coverage.

David Maddox: For Foulkes Sake (12) - the world's been turned on its head

Hot on the heals of the SNP apparently starting to praise Lord Foulkes, Baron of Cumnock, Labour MSP to the Lothians and First Lord of the Twittery (pictured right), for his hundreds of written questions, then the noble one has delivered his own surprise.

As you will read in tomorrow's Scotsman, the good lord has reported his old Nemesis, First Minister Alex Salmond to the Westminster parliamentary watchdog for claiming back his legal costs for trying to impeach for PM Tony Blair and the Westminster standards commissioner John Lyon, has agreed to investigate.

You can read the whys and wherefores of this matter in The Scotsman tomorrow, but it does remind one of his lordships complaints about the way the standards commissioners in Westminster and Holyrood were brought into play to cause political damage not least for former Scottish Labour leader Wendy Alexander.

But most of all it brings to mind the complaint made last year by an SNP student activist Andrew Harlick about Lord Foulkes' consultancy, which was dismissed, but later blatantly used to derail his attempt to be Rector of Edinburgh University.

At the time his lordship noted that the complaint was "purely politically motivated." The question is whether his referral of Mr Salmond is any different.

The irony is that he has accused Mr Salmond in this Blair impeachment case of getting the taxpayers to "fork out for a political stunt." Lord Foulkes is not lacking a sense of humour.

Eddie Barnes: The Thick of It, for real

Who needs Armando Ianucci when the real thing is twice as funny......I've been e-mailed the transcript of Andrew Neil's interview with Tory shadow chief secretary to the treasury Phillip Hammond earlier this week on the Conservative plans for a "bonfire of the quangos". Its quite long but it's a hoot. Read on......


Speakers: Andrew Neil
Phillip Hammond


Andrew Neil: So how many do you think you’ll get rid of?

Phillip Hammond: Well this isn’t a crude bonfire of the quangos. What David has said this morning is there are some quangos which we will need to keep because they do jobs which are properly at arms’ length from government. There are others which will need to be radically reformed and there are some which can be scrapped altogether..

AN: So how many will you get rid of?

PH: We’re working our way through that process.

AN: So how many will you get rid of?

PH: I don’t have a total number, we don’t know yet at this stage…

AN: You’ve been in opposition 12 years. Has it only just dawned on you to cut quangos?

PH: All my spending departmental colleagues are looking at the quangos that answer to their departments and categorising them into these three categories.

AN: How many will you create?

PH: Well we haven’t said that we won’t create any new bodies, for example the Office of Budget Responsibility…

AN: So that’s a new one you will create.

PH: It’s a key part of our plan to create a fiscal…

AN: No I understand the purpose, but it’s a quango. Office of Tax Simplification?

PH: Er, the Office of Tax Simplification also a key part of our plans.

AN: So that’s two. An Australian-style sports commission?

PH: An Australian-style sports commission?

AN: You promised that too.

PH: Er, ok. But…

AN: So that’s three.

PH: OK, but Andrew but the point is every body whether existing or proposed will have to pass the test that David has set out this morning…

AN: Yeah but you propose them. A Skills Advisory Service?

PH: They will have to pass the test that David has set out…

AN: So that’s another quango.

PH: …this morning. Do they perform a technical function that happens to be done at arms-length from government, do they perform an allocation function which needs to be politically impartial or do they perform a transparency function like the Office of National Statistics…

AN: A Defence Export Services organisation, that’s another one you’re going to create?

PH: Well that’s a body frankly that existed that existed until very recently…

AN: So you’ll create another quango?

PH: the government has folded it in to another body and we’re saying that it needs to continue to operate in order to support our…

AN: I’m sure there’s good reasons for it all, creating these 17 new quangos that you promised…

PH: Andrew we’re talking about 1,100 quangos in total…

AN: Yeah but you can’t…I’ve got 17 here you’re going to create if you get into power. You can’t give me 17 you’re going to get rid of.

PH: I can promise you it will be a lot more than 17.

AN: Well give me 17?

PH: Well David’s announced two this morning…

AN: Right, so far you’ve got net 15?

PH: I can’t promise you about the Potato Board because we haven’t looked in detail at that yet but we all know there are hundreds of quangos that we know no longer need to operate independently, at arms-length from government.


.....wonderful stuff.

David Maddox: For Foulkes Sake (11) - aka I'm alright Jack!

How things change. Lord George Foulkes, Baron of Cumnock, MSP to the Lothians and First Lord of the Twittery (pictured right at a Hearts match) has been the bête noire to the Nationalists for many months now.

How they have railed at him over his hundreds of "pointless" written questions (more than 1,000), costing the taxpayer thousands of pounds.

But suddenly the Noble one has become a paragon of virtue in their eyes. What has changed? The answer is the target.

The SNP guns are now trained on former First Minister Jack McConnell (pictured left in his infamous Tartan Day get-up) who is being portrayed as Holyrood's laziest MSP.

Apparently in the two years to April 2009, he failed to cast his vote in 17 per cent of debates and submitted the equivalent of just one written question per fortnight. He also tabled a mere 14 parliamentary motions and did not serve on committees.

Nationalist MSPs have pointed out that other former ministers have not been so work shy. And which one did they raise as an example? Yes, you got Lord George Foulkes who has asked more than 1,000 written questions and tabled 61 parliamentary motions.

David Maddox: And the prize for the fastest Andy Murray press release....

....goes to the Tories who managed to get their words of commiseration out less than five minutes after Murray's 3:1 defeat to Andy Roddick.

Murray's "an inspiration" Scottish Conservative leader Annabel Goldie said.

Labour's arrived a whole seven minutes later.

"Murray's done us proud," said Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray, who' s known some defeats in his time.

The Scottish Government one took another 21 minutes.

"Andy has made Scotland proud," said First Minister Alex Salmond

Still waiting for the SNP party and Lib Dem ones, but more to follow no doubt.

However, the prize for the silliest political argument of the day and probably the year is over the alleged claims by Mr Salmond that he could have won Wimbledon if he had trained a bit harder.

"This is the time that you get out there and say, 'if only'. If I'd worked as hard as Andy Murray then who knows, but I may take the odd swing and certainly if Andy wins there'll be a few balls going in the air," he told a well known state funded broadcaster ahead of the semi-final.

This may come as a surprise to those who think his current athletic physique is more suited to a specialist form of wrestling in Japan.

But, true to form, Labour put out a press release attacking the First Minister in the name of former sports minister Frank McAveety.

"Alex Salmond's ego knows no bounds," said Mr McAveety, who apparently had to pick himself up off the floor for laughing. "If he is not going round America comparing himself to Thomas Jefferson he is claiming that, with more practice, he could have been Wimbledon champion. The First Minister is fast becoming the Walter Mitty of Scottish politics."

The SNP think the joke is on Labour for failing to understand that the First Minister's quotes were a light hearted joke.

A spokesman for the First Minister suggested that Frank McAveety "should get a life."

David Maddox: Getting back to the classroom

There used to be a cruel saying "if you can't do, teach." I must I admit I always took slight offence at it as the son of two teachers and the husband of another.

But sometimes my experience of politicians makes me think the saying should be: "If you can't teach, get elected."

A classic example was on BBC Scotland's Big Devolution Debate last night from Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray, a former Maths teacher (pictured right).

"Has it [the Scottish Parliament] made a difference?" he asked rhetorically. "Yes it has. When the Parliament started one in five children in this country lived in poverty. That's now one in three. That's significant progress."

So more poor children is a good thing or has Mr Gray just got his sums wrong?

Chris Mackie: By-election speculation

There is an interesting piece of counter-intuitive thinking in this blog post by Evening Standard lobby hack Paul Waugh on the difference between the Norwich North and Glasgow North East by-elections.

His contention is that the delay in scheduling the Glasgow by-election is less to do with the Labour Party running scared of a Nationalist defeat and more to do with the thought that they might actually win the vote.

Here is the key section: "Why the difference between the two? Well, there's the obvious reason that Labour thinks it will actually win Glasgow whereas it seems to have given up hope in Norwich.
"But more relevant must be Labour's last by-election victory. Unlike Glasgow East, where the SNP gave Labour a kicking, Glenrothes saw Lindsay Roy sweep home relatively easily because lots of work had been put into finding the right candidate and doing the hard work on the ground."

There is undoubtedly some truth to this, but the delay in the Glenrothes campaign was not just about doing the hard work on the ground - it was also about mobilising a Labour machine in a constituency in which it had not faced credible competition for many years. Despite losing a seat they were confident of taking, the very fact Labour had to work so hard to win in Glenrothes was a triumph of sorts for the SNP. It points very clearly to a general election campaign to be fought in battlegrounds in which Labour activists are unused to fighting genuine contenders.

That must be a particular headache for local parties used to routinely returning incumbent Labour MPs, especially in the case of Glasgow North East, where, by virtue of Parliamentary convention, Labour has faced no notable opposition apart from the SNP in each of the elections since 1997. The headache might well become a migraine when the party studies its - already parlous - finances and finds that funds earmarked to fight nationally important marginals, have to be diverted to shore up its core vote in previously safe seats.

So yes, Labour may be confident of winning in Glasgow North East, but the apparent need to give its local activists as much time as it possibly can to run an effective campaign shows how fragile that confidence is.