Tweet Nothings, feat. Edwyn Collins, Errors, My Latest Novel

Can there be a better way to whittle away the hours inside a sweaty tour van than letting the world know your deepest, darkest thoughts in 140 characters? What’s that you say ? Mind-altering chemicals? Lasciviously-intended harlots? MYSPACE? Pah...whatever Grandad. These hipsters ain’t interested in languid cliches: Tweeting is the new Rock ‘n’ Roll. Fact.

So here it is, the Under the Radar segment you’ve been waiting for with baited breath and giddy stomach: Our weekly round-up of your idols’ idle tweets. HUZZAH...

Edwyn Collins is as polite as you’d expect from a New Pop luminary...
@EdwynCollins: “Up late after busy day. Sunday Times interview, Radio 3 The Verb. Very nice man, Ian McMillan. I sang Home Again and gabbed.”

Tango in the Attic scoff in the face of punctuation as they plan a Glenrothes day out...
@tangointheattic: “ Thinking of putting on a bus to PJs on friday from glenrothes if theres enough demand, give us an email or txt if your interested!”

John B McKenna does his bit for the Glasgow tourism industry...
@johnbmckenna: “Last night a man fell asleep in the pub, wouldn’t wake up, so we phoned an ambulance, he woke up, peed on the wall, fell asleep on the wall.”

Debutant gets dizzy over a cholesterol overload that could only ever be acceptable in Scotland...
@debutantmusic: “Fucking yas! Haggis? WIN! Pizza? WIN! Haggis + pizza? WIN WIN! Exclamation marks all round!”

Pragmatism and capitalisation is the name of the game for Findo Gask...
@wearefindogask: “Are practicing hard in order to BE BETTER THAN WE ARE NOW.”

My Latest Novel wholly embrace the joys of Twitter by giving up on rational conversation...
@MyLatestNovel: “The smurf would turn flesh coloured! Can something be flesh coloured? Surely flesh is a composite of tones not a colour?”

Salesmanship is clearly not Dupec’s forte....
@Dupec: “Try out the new hand driers at @cabaretvoltaire at our gig tonight which is FREE entry and cheap bevvy. On at 8.”

Pooch + tweeting + heat = comedy gold...
@poochtheband: “Contemplating wearing icecream.”

Sixpeopleaway get into the Wimbledon swing of things...
@sixpeopleaway: "The faintly robotic & precisely disciplined motions of the ballboys/girls at Wimbledon is starting to freak me out ever so slightly..."

RBRBR go from a web of sound to a web of SPLAT...
@RBRBR: "Big old spider in my trainer this morning. Didn't notice until the shoe was on. :-( "

Unicorn Kid is creating his own heatwave...
@UnicornKid: "Played the sweatiest show in Unicorn Kid history tonight! There was at least a pint's worth in my t shirt."

And finally, Errors say what this half of Under the Radar's editorial team has been thinking all week...
@Weareerrors: "Too actual f*cking hot to do anything. F*ck off sun."

Words: Billy Hamilton (and Twitter)

Musicians of Scotland: Tweet something interesting/funny/newsworthy this week and you too could feature in Tweet Nothings. Just think how proud your Mum will be.

Spotted any other tweeting gems we've missed out on? Share your favourite weekly tweets with us below...